“You start dying….”

This poem~

I happened upon it early this morning,

And as I read it, I felt the sentiment of each statement, so very clearly in my Being & body…
The truth of the words. At least that’s how they landed in my system.
As truth.

That “dying slowly” part, especially. I mean, we are all dying, the second we enter life. That’s inevitable. We simply don’t know the when, the where, or the how of that dying departure.

But until then, what about the actual LIVING part…? The part of expansion and growth, of evolving, of becoming and becoming and becoming….?

Which is kinda the whole point in the first place, isn’t it?

To live out the life given, fully…?
YOUR life… the one created and given to you.
With YOUR purpose, your mission, your unique-to-you blueprints…

Otherwise, what IS the point? To suffer through it? Day in, day out in stagnation & stand-still of that evolution?

Maybe it is, if that’s your truth.
But is it, really, your truth?

Or is it one that simply feels safer? Because it’s what you know. It’s comfortable, even if there’s a little bit of uncomfortable in that knowing comfort…

To stop & still a moving, dynamic force of life that is naturally progressing forward, naturally expanding, naturally growing, naturally unfolding, inherently… that takes A LOT of energy.
How exhausting.

For me, that feeling of “slowly dying” has taken on many forms.
~It’s shown up as boredom
~It’s been depression & anxiety, bad mood states, & malaise.
~ It’s been health crises, injuries, pain, clumsiness.
~It’s been a not-trusting; of myself, body, those around me, life, or the bigger Powers-That-Be
~ It’s shown up as utter despair in the questioning of myself, of my existence, of mattering.
~ It’s shown up as being angry at the world, at all of humanity.
~ It’s played out as defiance and rebellion, when misunderstood.
~ It’s played out through ways in which I treated my body & Being as less-than.
~ I’ve told non-truths, ½ truths, and avoided truths altogether in an attempt to keep the status quo fixed.
~ I’ve numbed, suppressed, & repressed to the point of feeling vastly void. Devoid.
~ Living out a series of Groundhog-day days & habits.

I was once told I looked like my “pilot light had gone out.”
Living, but not very alive.
An empty shell.

Why do we stagnate and try to halt the steady-moving-sparks-of-life that are pulling us forward, beckoning us to get to know them, personally. We hold so hard to what-is vs. allow what’s already coming, what’s asking to be experienced.

I think this happens when we lose connection to our sense of self. We lose touch with our heart & soul’s purpose, our spark of spirit, our joys, our calling. These more subtly communicated messages from higher-self tend to speak more softly through quiet inklings & desires, felt & sensed through BODY.

But we tend to live in our heads, from the neck up, in our minds full of made-up stories about who we are, about what’s proper, what’s allowed, what’s right or wrong, all based on past conditioning & past experiences.
The past.

And these messages are LOUD. Louder than that of our hearts. Screaming at times. And they often come disguised, through other people’s voices or opinions. Especially those that we tend to hold near & dear, or uphold on a high & lofty pedestal.

At least this has been my experience…

But my desire for life, MY given life, became louder than that of my conditioned mind. Especially having seen the amount of precious time I’ve given away, of my precious life, toward feeling less than good because I was stagnating the LIFE of life.

Am I totally done with that? No, probably not.

It’s ingrained in the tissues, those old ways of being, bumping up against the events of now, when I’ve moved beyond the limits of comfort zone.

But I know to come back to heart, to come back to my truth, through body….
To stop the “slowly dying” of me
To appreciate myself & uphold my own self esteem
To read, to travel, to listen to the sounds of life
To wear different colours
To feel passion & the turbulent emotions that come with them, that make my eyes glisten & my heart beat fast.
To change my life when I become dissatisfied with it.
To go after my dreams.
To risk

After all, this was the life given to me…
And I will now allow it to unfold as intended & naturally designed:
inherently guided from the inside out —

From heart & soul, through body, out into the light of day of life’s experiences.

Love~
Angela

Care to join me here?
Because THIS is the point & reason of creation of InBody:Rewriting the story of body & you.