The embodiment of trust….
I just recently found it… again.
This “trust” had made its way to the back of a drawer, all bundled cozy in the cute, small burlap bag it was delivered in… a gift given to me by the amazing & brilliant Ellen M Ercolini, just over a year and a half ago.
The timing of me finding this “trust,” (finding it again), is so perfect, as usually is the case with how timing works, right?
Because trust, in the usual sense, not the bracelet sense, has been in the forefront for me. Or rather, re-defining it for myself, while re-finding it.
In a way, I had put my sense of trust, especially that of self trust, in the back of a drawer, metaphorically speaking, tucked safely hidden away.
A realization I’ve discovered quite recently, as I’m wrapping up a 10 week course, which I have been leading & participating in, called, InBody (With the help of the amazing Carolyn Dunbar Brumfield). It’s all about the relationship that we have with ourselves & our lives as experienced in & through body.
It started out in the vein of transforming the “body/weight/health story,” that so many of us humans struggle with, myself included. I’ve see that this particular story has many faces, showing up in life in many different ways.
But there seems to be a core theme that comes w/ ALL of those ways:
Trust… Or the lack thereof it.
And usually in the midst of STRESS…
(Which, for the record, is a physiological STATE of being & functioning, as in the ability for body to function FULLY for the Being inside it, and when it cannot, it’s because there is “stress,” of whatever kind, that body is managing.)
This core trust thing though, the challenge of it, is most notably that of self-trust.
Which makes perfect sense given ALL other relationships in life, or even with life itself, are built from the relationship that we have with ourselves first. This includes body…
As it must, because body is how we experience anything & everything; the feeling-sensation felt in body.
But what I noticed for myself in this trust game, is that I had put my sense of it on things outside of me to deliver that feeling state of trust TO me.
This left me at the mercy of those “things” — ie. people, situations, circumstance, etc– and the “stressing” to make it happen. And if those things didn’t deliver, I was left without that trusting, trustful, trustworthy feeling, and feeling very uneasy, anxious, and unsafe in the process.
This round of InBody, I declared self trust as the “thing” I was playing with, that I wanted to embody in body, by cultivating it from within me and the space that body is for me…
THIS sense of trust is based on how body feels, as in the feeling-sensation of being safely held & carried; strong, secure, stable, safe, and trustworthy. Like that of a tree, being in alignment with gravity, held by a strong, steady & sturdy trunk….
Which is the whole point of body in the first place:
Providing the space that holds, carries, & protects the Being inside.
A fact that I think is often forgotten or dismissed in our busy, busy days of doings, expectations, & the “normalcy” of stress, despite the very real, obvious or not, effects that stress has on body, including disrupting the structural alignment of, in relation to gravity… which, in-&-of itself, is stressful.
Maintaining a stressed state-of-being sends the message, from body to brain, via the almighty nervous system, that the mind then interprets as unsafe, not secure, not trustworthy.
Does it make sense that after a prolonged period of this stressful state, that the Being inside would also begin to feel the same sense of not-trusting?
Or perhaps anxiousness?
Creating trust, especially that of self trust, I’ve come to find, can be re-found by creating it within body first, simply & easily, through alignment, providing a safe, solid, secure structure of trustworthy. The benefits of which are plentiful.
For me I’ve noticed feeling:
~physically stronger, more energetic
~more open & willing, courageous & brave — especially in having conversations that I once feared, thinking they would be so hard, scary, or confrontational
~more patience, more understanding, less “crunchy” — this is especially true in driving (no more road rage), not as “triggered” by stuff that use to bother me so…
~more joy, peace, satisfaction, enthusiasm, and less WORRY
I feel more “me” — less weighed down by “stuff,” some of which I wasn’t even consciously aware of, but body was…. Very aware…Holding it all, carrying it all, trying to manage it all for me.
Undoing, unwinding, & unconditioning stress & tension patterns held in body does a whollatta good for the mind, heart, & Being inside, and often without the “heavy lifting” of processing what’s been subconsciously carried. And profoundly powerful, I might add…
And so this trust bracelet, a loving reminder on my left wrist to go to myself & body first for trust and the feeling-sensation of it. It makes me smile a when I glance down to see it, feeling more connected, supported, & trusting.
I suspect that one day I’ll look down and the reminder will have fallen away… perhaps a sign that trust has become embodied in body, ever-so-securely.
Until then, I so appreciate the reminder.
Aligned: As InBody, so in life…
Amazingly by design.